To Die Before Death
At the start of last month, I started re-reading the book: The Forty Rules of Love by Elif Shafak. It is by far one of my favourite book as it is very spirtual and life changing as well as full of wisdom and most of all, full of love. Although I had started reading it last month, it is only today (9th of April) that I had finished reading it. It is not because I am a slow reader- the majority of the book, I had read within a couple of days, but for some reason, I just kept putting it off and now I know why. Just like how I have been talking about how things happen at the right time, I am in awe to realise that finishing the book today was perfect timing.
This is because, in the last couple of pages, there was a rule that fit in perfectly with the state I am in. The rule had said:
"It is never too late to ask yourself, 'Am I ready to change the life I am living? Am I ready to change within?' Even if a single day in your life is the same as the day before, it surely is a pity. At every moment and with each new breath, one should be renewed and renewed again. There is only one way to be born into a new life: to die before death."
It's funny because lately, I've been wanting a part of me to die. Such as old habits that aren't good for me or my toxic overthinking. It was only when I felt at my lowest, those things had finally died off. And when they did, I found clarity and I found peace.
Then in a paragraph, it felt like the book was speaking to me as it said:
'You think you cannot live anymore. You think that the light of your soul has been put out and that you will stay in the dark forever. But when you are engulfed by such solid darkness, when you have both eyes closed to the world, a third eye opens in your heart. And only then do you come to realise that eyesight conflicts with inner knowledge. No eye sees so clear and sharp as the eye of love. After grief comes another season, another valley, another you.'
It is also funny because it then reminded me of the blog post I wrote just last month called: Looking at Life Differently and how I talk about having closed eyes and having an open heart as well as some of the Forty Rules. Also, hopefully, with the changes I am making with my life and character, there will be 'another me' which I hope will be a better if not the best version of myself.
Nonetheless, The Forty Rules of Love is an amazing and beautiful book which I will certainly be reading again and again in the future. I just LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this book and highly recommend it to anyone.
(P.S: Much love to Shahirah for gifting this gem of a book into my life.)