I have noticed that these days, more and more people are feeling victimised. And although I do consider myself as an empathetic and caring person, I want you to stop victimising yourself. Stop telling the same old story. Stop replaying it. Stop thinking about it. Stop believing that you are a victim. Because you are not. And I say this because I was once a victim but now I choose not to be.
The circumstances you went through- your childhood, the things that were beyond your control, that heartbreak. They are all now in the past. And yet, you are still alive. You still have the time and chance to live the life you want. You have this moment. So LIVE in it. Don’t let your time, energy or emotions go to waste on things that no longer matters.
I find it alarming to see people so invested on things that are not only irrelevant to them but to the betterment of this world. So, every time I think of something I ask myself if what I am thinking is relevant and why I am thinking of it in the first place. If they are not, I let them go. And I need to let go for my own good and for a peace of mind.
So what are some things that are irrelevant? Toxic people, the lies and stories that you have been telling yourself or have been told, broken promises, rumours, gossip, what she/he has but you don’t, the haters, the likes or the comments or the followers that gives you validation or the colour of your skin.
When you really think about it, none of them really matters. And none of them can define who I am as a person. And so I won’t allow irrelevant factors get in the way of my own happiness.
The minute that you stop calling yourself a victim or making it as an excuse, is the minute when you will realise that you are in control of your own life and happiness. Grieve. Cry your heart out to express all of your emotions. Do not supress them. But if you keep doing it for months. Or years. You will still be at the same broken place. You are much stronger than that. And I believe that no matter what the circumstances were, you have it within you the courage to move on and to heal. Please love yourself enough to have the courage and let yourself heal.
If you keep replaying or thinking about the same sad memories then of course you will remain sad. But if you believe that you deserve the life that you want to live then be kind to yourself. Stop believing that your past determines who you are. Change your story in which you are no longer the victim but instead a survivor or warrior. If you have survived the things you went through against all odds, then why let yourself be the barrier to moving on?
Time does heal but you are in control on how you will heal. Time only gives space to heal but it is what you do within that space that matters and will make you heal. If you let your emotions and sadness manifest your time and thoughts then you will remain in pieces. If you allow yourself to respond to your emotions and to tend your health and wellbeing then you will be at peace.
You know yourself better than anyone else. Seek help and ask for guidance or support but at the end of the day, it is really up to you. Because you are the only one that can really pick yourself up. Respond to your emotions and needs. Forgive. Change the story. Make plans. Take action. Do what you need to do and think what you want to think- the only limitation is yourself and you are always in control of your own mind and happiness.
By letting go of the things that no longer serve you or are no longer relevant, you allow yourself to grow as a person. I know that the days or even months have been windy and rainy but the sun can shine down on you if you allow the dark clouds (or your thoughts) to roll away. Those memories and labels are ready to fall to give space for better things that are yet to come and for you to flourish. You just need to give yourself permission.
Don’t lose yourself. You need to be there for you. Stay strong for yourself. Let go of all the things that no longer serves you. You define who you are as a person. You get to decide what is relevant and what is irrelevant. Do what you need to do to be at peace and not in pieces. All in all, you are in control.